Lifestyle

The Two Michael Rovners

He was easygoing, heat, humorous. He informed me we have been destined to be pals, if not colleagues. I stated I felt like we already have been pals, and he instantly agreed! He confided that he was irritated that I used to be a greater author than he was however stated he’d recover from it although, by weeping over his Emmy. We shared the same smug allure. I believed, So that is what it was wish to must cope with a Michael Rovner.

I realized that, years earlier, once I had been a prolific journalist, he had commonly accepted compliments on my revealed items. What may very well be extra Rovnerian than taking credit score for another person’s work, I believed. Through the years, I’ve written about being an alcoholic in restoration, being fired from my job as a personal detective and having spent half my life in remedy. Primarily based on my lifetime of oversharing, I questioned what these individuals should have considered him. There was positively a part of the film “Battle Membership” to this entire factor.

He, too, primarily glided by his surname, solely he pronounced it unsuitable — ROWV-ner, as a substitute of RAHV-ner. I used to be knowledgeable that the Massachusetts and Iowa Rovners favored his model. I informed him that wasn’t how we did it in Philly. He informed me his ancestors hailed from Rivne, Ukraine, which had been Rovno, Poland, on the time. I stated that, every time I requested my grandparents, I used to be informed our household had come from Minsky-Pinsky, which was how individuals in that era had tried to place the previous behind it.

He stated he would advocate me for the job at his firm, however primarily as a result of they’d give him a $5,000 bonus for bringing in a brand new rent if I might final for 90 days. I informed him nothing would make me happier than enriching Michael Rovners’ financial institution accounts — a rising tide lifts all Michael Rovners. Ought to it work out, I promised to not sully our good title. He advised that, if I have been employed, I am going by any type of Michael that suited me. Whereas this appeared like a significant concession on my half, since I used to be used to going by simply “Rovner,” I figured we’d work out the small print later. He stated he would ship “a hilarious Michael Rovneresque notice” to the individuals making the rent, including that the remaining was as much as me “and the ghosts of Michael Rovners previous.”

Initially of my first interview, the hiring supervisor stated she had initially been perplexed. “I believed the Michael Rovner who already labored right here was interviewing for this place,” she stated. I used to be delighted on the potential confusion this is able to unleash on the world.

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