DEAR ABBY: I not too long ago married “Joel,” a person I like very a lot. Whereas now we have our variations, we’re strong within the information that we love one another and are on this marriage for the lengthy haul.
Our marriage ceremony footage simply arrived and, after going by means of them collectively, I requested my husband to create a digital album to share with our household and buddies, as I’m very busy with work. I simply had a second to look by means of the album he created and noticed he had omitted an image of my male finest pal “Logan” and me hugging as Joel and I left the reception. It was a really particular second for me as a result of I grew up with Logan and think about his household an extension of mine.
After I defined this to my husband, he expressed that he understands. I really feel very damage that this image was omitted. Joel has expressed prior to now that he isn’t comfy with me hugging males who should not relations. It has been a degree of competition between us, and after a few lengthy talks on the topic I assumed we had reached a decision.
Earlier than the marriage, I discovered Joel nonetheless had footage of ex-girlfriends in his cellphone. After I confronted him about it, he stated he stored them for recollections however would delete them, which he did. Now that we’re married I’ve observed he brings up his previous relationship life lots. I’ve requested him to cease, however he retains doing it.
I really feel like this can be a double commonplace. I have to distance myself from male buddies, however Joel will get to maintain his connections with ex-girlfriends. I don’t know how one can broach this with him as a result of it’s so early in our marriage. I may use some recommendation. — UPSET NEWLYWED IN TEXAS
DEAR NEWLYWED: You and your husband are overdue for a severe dialogue. There’s a distinction between mentioning one’s previous relationship life and sustaining connections to these people. If Joel is staying in contact with them, he’s using a double commonplace and you might want to speak it over. You might have to maintain reminding him that speaking about his previous romances makes you uncomfortable and ask why he persists regardless of realizing it does.
The picture of you and Logan hugging on the finish of the reception might have been omitted as a result of it wasn’t a reminiscence of your marriage ceremony day that your husband felt was related. Now that you’ve got defined its significance, ask Joel so as to add it if that’s attainable. However do it if you find yourself each calm and relaxed so it isn’t contentious and you’ll each clear the air.
DEAR ABBY: I used to be not too long ago recognized with pre-diabetes. I’ve been superb at adopting a no-sugar and low-carb weight-reduction plan. The issue happens after I eat exterior my dwelling. At birthday events, I’m stuffed with anxiousness round consuming. If I say no to the sugary desserts, one in every of three issues is assured to occur: I’m accused of making an attempt to be skinny, informed the meals is wasted as a result of I don’t eat it, or I really feel responsible as a result of I acquiesced. I discover myself refusing affords to eat out as a result of I dread the inevitable. What can I say to folks in order that they’ll respect my meals restrictions? — FOOD ANXIETY-RIDDEN IN NEW YORK
DEAR F.A.R.: All you need to say is, “My physician not too long ago recognized me with pre-diabetes and I don’t need it to progress any additional. So, no thanks!”
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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