DEAR ABBY: I’m a teenage woman who has just lately found I’m bisexual. I advised a number of shut mates, and I’m joyful to say they’ve accepted me. Nothing has modified. I’ve not advised any of my household but. I do know my dad and mom will help me, however the issue is 2 of my 4 siblings. They continuously tease and taunt me, name me names and choose on me.
I’ve been raised to face as much as bullies, and I’m largely assured with myself. I’ve introduced up their bullying to my dad and mom a few instances, however after self-discipline from my dad and mom they maintain doing it. They’re clearly homophobic, and I do know they are going to tease and choose on me much more if I come out to them.
I need to inform my dad and mom, however I’m afraid it would inevitably result in my siblings understanding. I don’t suppose if my youthful siblings knew they might care, however they may be confused or weirded out because the idea is overseas to them.
Ought to I attempt to persuade my dad and mom to not say something to my siblings till later? I don’t need to cover, however I don’t need to be pushed to melancholy, low vanity or worse if my vocal homophobic siblings know and chastise me about my sexual orientation. — NEW LGBTQ+ MEMBER
DEAR MEMBER: Your siblings usually are not essentially “homophobic.” They might simply get a kick out of constructing their youthful sister uncomfortable, and no matter punishment they obtain is just not ample to curb the issue. Whether or not your dad and mom disclose it, your sexual orientation will grow to be obvious eventually, so don’t trouble hiding. You’ve gotten mates and fogeys who help you. Dealing with destructive feedback out of your immature sibs provides you with the boldness to deal with others sooner or later.
It’s possible you’ll need to take into account becoming a member of a LGBTQ-friendly youth group for extra help. Your dad and mom can discover methods that will help you by contacting a company referred to as PFLAG (pflag.org). It’s the primary and largest group for LGBTQ individuals, their dad and mom, households and allies. You might be an clever teen who’s within the strategy of discovering who you might be, and for that I applaud you.
DEAR ABBY: Over the past 12 months and a half, I’ve been in a relationship with somebody I’ve identified for a lifetime. He’s married however engaged on getting a divorce. He has promised we’ll do issues collectively as soon as every little thing is settled. There have been a number of current deaths in his household, together with a grandchild who was killed by a drunk driver.
Till per week in the past we talked each day, when he advised me he wanted a while to suppose and get every little thing straight. I supplied to return the issues of his that I’ve. He mentioned to not, and repeated that he simply wanted a while. His household has leaned on him for years. I’m certain he’s overwhelmed. Ought to I wait and see what’s subsequent or mend my coronary heart and transfer on? — STANDING BY IN THE EAST
DEAR STANDING BY: As you might be in all probability conscious, I’ve printed many letters from ladies who had been strung alongside far longer than two years. Again off. Give him six months to get his head and his life straight and to get that divorce filed. If nothing has modified by then, you’ll have devoted solely two years of your life to the affair, and you need to transfer on.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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