DEAR ABBYSince a long time, I have been interested to meet a woman. I have dated her over the years and helped her with her home. Today, she called and asked me if I would walk her dog. I had to decline because I couldn’t fit it in. She sent me back-to-back emails.
“Thanks, Fred, but one thing I’m sure of — anyone who isn’t a friend of my dog is no friend of mine. Where’s your Christian service now? I don’t want you to check on my dog or me ever! You are a selfish guy who couldn’t take a five-minute drive on a 60-degree day, and I hope I won’t hear from you ever again. I wish you all of the best. You don’t have to sit around and take care of others. Bye.”
And, “A true friend would check on my dog and lock all the doors after, so don’t go near my house or apartment. You are not the kind of guy I want to be with. You think you’re better than you are.”
What can I do? — CONFUSED IN COLORADO
DEAR CONFUSED Because this is how your self-centered lady friend reacted when you told her you couldn’t come when she whistled, it’s a shame — for your sake — that she didn’t say it years ago. Now, you need to take her emails into consideration. Follow her instructions to the letter and don’t let her hear from you again. She’s bad news, and you can do better. Much better.
DEAR ABBYMy wife died over a year ago. I am currently seeing a lady whose husband was killed five years ago. “Helen” had been going out with her boyfriend, “Harry,” for two years, but he recently developed cancer and passed away.
We have become close, but I have a problem. When we are in a romantic situation, Helen will call me “Harry.” When it happens, it’s upsetting, and I get defensive. I have a really hard time dealing with being called her last boyfriend’s name. Sometimes I feel I should leave. What should I do? — FLORIDA MISIDENTIFIED
DEAR MISIDENTIFIED Helen is your Helen. You should recognize that she was with Harry for two years. And don’t take it personally if she calls you by his name every now and again. It’s normal, and with time, it will stop happening.
DEAR ABBY I am a 65 year old male. I recently went on business with a 28 years-old male coworker. Throughout the whole dinner, he continued to search for information and respond to texts on his phone. I spoke only a few times. When I tried to talk to him, he would reply and then go back to his phone.
His conduct was insulting and rude. I understand the importance phones have. If he received a phone call or one from his wife while he was eating, it would be fine. But when people stay glued to their phones throughout dinner and the evening, I think it’s rude. What’s the protocol for these types of situations? — HANG UP IN ALABAMA
DEAR HANG-UP: It is best to put your phone down, or at the very least face down, at the dinner table. By failing to do that, your coworker sent you the unmistakable message that he wasn’t interested in anything you might have wanted to discuss with him. I agree with him that his behavior was rude, unless he was slow in responding to his work emails.
Dear Abby was written and founded by Pauline Phillips by Abigail Van Buren. She is also known as Jeanne Phillips. Dear Abby can be reached at DearAbby.com, or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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