A wise professor of mine once advised, “Working out is the only thing you never regret.” Broken toes, ring worm and hernias not withstanding, the dude has a point.
The Latin word exercise is the source of the word exercise. exercere which translates to “keep away or prevent” and as research holds, physical activity keeps the blues at bay, the endorphins on high and revenge bodies on point.
Recent research suggests that even moderate exercise can prevent cognitive decline. J.Lo’s age-defying physique shows that intense exercise could be the key to immortality, or at least lasting heat.
Whether your aim is to lose weight, build strength, feel powerful or burn off rage, there’s a workout for you and as with most life choices, astrology is here to help.
We wish you peace, determination, and strength of mind wherever the road to fitness takes you. Continue reading to find out more.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Orange Theory Fitness
If Darwinism were a Zodiac sign, it would be Aries. Orange Theory Fitness would be Aries. Aries people are natural competitors, as Mars rules them. Their drive to be first is matched only in their desire to injure themselves along the way. Orange Theory is an exercise class in which participants wear monitors that measure heart beat, output levels and calories burned. These stats are matched with names and announced via an electronic board at the front of class. The goal is to spend a certain amount of time in the “orange zone” of maximum effort and while Aries prefers the color of blood to the color of sunsets, they can get onboard with the motivational power of a a score board and the primal desire to win.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Sex/hiking
Taurus desires to feel good, but not work hard. To that end, they prefer torpid and long walks in nature to do calisthenics. Stubborn as they are sensual, we won’t suggest bulls make a radical departure from their routine but adding more incline to their hikes and more dynamic sex positions to their portfolio equates to higher caloric burn and in turn, more room for snacks.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Yoga
Geminis are filled with brilliant ideas and misattributed quotes, crippling anxiety, unrealized fantasies. They also have fleeting fears, hummingbirds and pickled paranoia. They also have an internal monologue that is without pause or punctuation. Meditation and the mind emptying and muscle stretching that the yoga mat provides are essential for any sign.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
CrossFit
Cancers can feel attacked by the outside world because they are sensitive to the actions and attitudes of others. CrossFit, a HIIT-focused, community-oriented workout created by Greg Glassman (a very troubled Cancer) gives crabs the chance to feel strong and be supported by a network that can share their sweat, gains, and feelings. CrossFit is credited with popularizing the “Murph Workout,” a regimen named in honor of fallen NAVY Seal and gold star recipient Michael P. Murphy.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Barre / Pole dancing
Barre workouts are some unequivocal hot girl s**t and pure bait for Leos; plieing in a well lit, photo ready room, muscles are toned, posture is on point and you don’t have to compromise your blowout. Pole dancing is a great way to increase core strength and confidence for the more athletic members of the lion pride. Both pole and barre classes are a way for lions to refocus on themselves, which is a curative redirection.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Tabata
Tabata is the fastest way to burn calories and get the most bang for your buck in Virgo energy. Tabata, a HIIT exercise, can be done in just four minutes. It involves eight rounds of 20 second, all out, balls to wall, sweat spilling effort, and then 10 seconds of rest. This maximum energy expenditure is thought to lead to a significant increase in heart rate, which can help burn calories and boost metabolism. Tabata is about reaching the highest level of performance within a time frame.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Kickboxing
Libras are known for suppressing their anger and neglecting their own needs in order to help others. Kickboxing allows this indecisive air sign the opportunity to quickly react, let go of their anger in a safe manner, and enjoy the satisfaction of contact sports. It’s noble to keep the peace, but wise to know how and when to go to war.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Insanity
Scorpios are generally homebodies who act as their worst enemies. Enter Beachbody’s Insanity which productively indulges both of these qualities. This high-octane video workout can be done in your living room, bedroom, or cave of your choice. It uses exercises that require participants to work against their own weight. Scorpions love TRX ropes, which double as bondage accessories.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Cycling
Sagittarius is a sign that is often bored and looking for adventure. Outdoors and stationary biking offer archers both a challenge they can manage and a sense of freedom that allows them to let go.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
12-3-30 Workout
Sea goats are strivers and climbers, no matter what the mode of transportation is: a treadmill or a hamster wheel. Lauren Giraldo (a Capricorn influencer) invented the 12-3-30 workout. This involves setting your treadmill to a 12%incline, and then walking at a speed of 3 mph for 30 mins. Like Capricorns, the workout is difficult but effective when done with consistency and conviction.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Tai Chi
As with all air signs, breathing is vital to the mental and physical well-being of Aquarians. Water bearers are often seen with their heads in the clouds, despite their lofty ideals. Tai Chi, an ancient art that encourages their imaginations and reminds them that they are humans from the terrestrial plane, is an example of the ancient art.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Swimming
Fish live in water, and swimming is an immersive, low-impact activity that clears the head. It also refreshes the body and minds of average Pisces. Swimming gives you the sensation of weightlessness and the euphoria associated with a backstroke baptism, which can be overwhelming for someone who is easily overwhelmed.
Astrology 101: Your guide for the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes combine poetry, history, and personal experience. She is also a skilled writer and has written extensively about her travels. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
Read the full article here
